Handover the reigns

Our day goes through well. Everything executes smoothly as expected. Tasks done, Health's fine, Emotion's good; and then BOOM comes a problem. It'll be more of a conflict on whether you should solve it the way your thoughts perceive, or is there a different way. If you are pro at overthinking, your brain conjures up ten different solutions to that problem and you are unable to decide. Brain function overloads, you stop looking at all other tasks, tension kicks in, deadline looms by (Though there isn't one and this too is one of the tricks of your overthinking). Hence comes a helpline. Call someone else for a solution.

Many don't even go through the helpline step cause they want to desperately solve it themselves. Yet, bringing someone else to the solution has always been helpful for me. So, Good; at least step 1 is done, The issue comes at step 2.

You explain the problem to your friend (and also your perspectives) and wait. They go through all that, and come up with a reasonable solution which could either be one of ten solutions you've already been through or a new one. They might even explain the reason behind picking that one. Good for you. You now have a solution to your problem. Case closed. Go have a snoring nap. Happy dream. But...Do you?

As your brain is overpowered with a super processor of analyzing the data and bringing in more problems rather than solutions, you conjure up ten more problems with the solution picked by the other person. Commence the debate. Your partner gives a solution for those problems and you generate some more. This goes on and on until.....you get the dawning thought of

"But he doesn't know my situation. He is just giving me a random solution. He doesn't know what I'm going through. Only I know my problems, not him. Then who is he to judge me! He doesn't even care about the problem; just wants to give a random solution and get off it"

That is one dangerous thought. But you feel the truth in it. The other person isn't actually in your shoes to look at it from your perspective. They look at it from their own perspective. So you start arguing less and less until you say "Yeah, fine! I'll do what you've suggested. Whatever." The whole context of you asking that person is gone. No one's happy. They didn't get the satisfaction of solving the problem. You didn't get the problem solved. It's a draw. You both lost.

But hang on a second. You being you, did try to solve the problem from your perspective and couldn't solve it. They why should the other person look through the same lens when it's already blurry? Shouldn't they use their lens?

You've been through this whole mumbo-jumbo just because you brought in too many aspects to the solution. If you are trying to submit your project by tomorrow, but you also want to watch the latest Game of Thrones episode, why should your friend suggest you do both even if the project's important? You know it too. But your episode takes priority at this moment and you don't like anyone telling you anything else.

The moment you bring in another person to the conversation, you'll have to give more weight to their solution cause

1. You contacted them because of their better judgement
2. They don't go through the whole unnecessary stuff you are going through, which isn't related to the task at hand.

You should understand the fact that they are looking through a smaller lens to only think about one problem in hand, and you too want the same. If it was their problem instead of yours, they too will go through the same process of diving head first into the ocean of solutions and you'll be their saviour.

So, let them be the saviour for now and give the reigns fully to that person. That is still a draw, but both of you win.