Backlash

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Uninstalling Instagram felt good for a couple of days. Got back hours and hours of scrolling time to do other stuff. But, what other stuff to do? I only know spending time on social media whenever I'm free, stressed, happy, sad, excited, or scared. That means I start unlocking my phone the moment I feel anything. All that momentum crashed back into me after about a week of getting out of Instagram.

Two scenarios

Everything boiled down to two situations. One, whenever I'm relieved from work, I open the app as it decreases my mental task of thinking for me, pushing content into my brain automatically. Two, whenever I had a couple of seconds here or there (standing in the lunch line, waiting for people to join a meet), I opened the app to get a quick emotional boost. I've started using YouTube shorts as a fallback for both of them. I'll explain how my brain kicked back in those two situations.

First - Longer hours

In the first case, once I completed a physically or mentally intensive task, I crashed onto the couch and unlocked the phone. It had been weeks since I had uninstalled Instagram yet the muscle memory tried to search for it. The moment I don't find the app, the bubble thins out making me realize I am falling back into the same trap. At that moment, I try to think of any other task to do which is much simpler compared to the previous one, so that my mind doesn't make me stay on the couch. Or, I open YouTube shorts. Though it doesn't go on for hours, I am still falling back to a different social media platform.

Second - Short minutes

In the second case, as I realize I have a couple of seconds or minutes of gap, I open YouTube shorts. I tried holding back but I just couldn't. I don't even remember what I used to do in those free moments, so I don't know what to do. I've even given up on the fact that I can hold on. The muscle memory takes over.

The Culprit

The fallback for these two situations was automatically created by my mind just because of one thing.
 I am not able to cope with random thoughts. If I get a break, a million thoughts start flooding in and I am in no situation to control them. Whether I need to do a task to focus or I need social media to make me focus. The utter chaos through the mind is the ultimate culprit.

Temporary solution

I have started preparing remedies for it though. One is to write more. As I start to feel the thoughts bombarding me, I write. What do I write? Anything. Writing is making me focus on a single thought at that moment. No sentence formation, No grammar, No punctuation. Just putting everything down as it comes. 
The other solution is music and podcasts. That is still media though, and I'm trying to move out of it too.

Vision

At some point, I want to be with my thoughts, not stressed but relaxed. I want to let all those thoughts flow seamlessly. Until then, I will work on building one gate at a time to this dam.

Comments

  1. AnonymousMarch 17, 2024 at 6:57 PM

    Hi Rahul, I have some suggestions. 1. Take interest in other people’s lives, not through their social media but by talking to them, in person or on phone. Try to help out people when required. You’ll learn a lot about people’s personalities. 2. Take a stroll when you have free time and get some fresh air. This will clear your mind and help you focus. 3. This last one may sound funny but get married and have kids. You will have no free time then, so your problem of what to do with free time is solved. - Swetha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Rahul AkkenapallyMarch 17, 2024 at 10:19 PM

      I am trying to do the first two. Hope I pick it up more. Third point though, not in my hands😅. Thanks for such a detailed response though. Appreciate 🙌🏻

      Delete
  2. AnonymousMarch 17, 2024 at 6:58 PM

    Felt almost almost same..Good one

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousMarch 17, 2024 at 10:54 PM

    Try if yoga will help you streamline or reduce your thoughts. It usually does.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Rahul AkkenapallyMarch 18, 2024 at 11:42 PM

      Yes. It definetely did to me too. Need to do it more. Thanks for the suggestion though😄

      Delete

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